You call that a knife? This is a knife.

Saturday night started out innocently enough. Too bad it didn't end that way.

The rain from the upcoming typhoon had begun and I was planning on staying in. Then the texts started coming in and I couldn't resist. From a combination of being tired from work, tired from the heat, and not having a lot of money, I haven't gone out too much. But this needed to change.

After meeting up with Alex, we headed to Underworld to meet up with Adam, Andy, & Beavis (Alex, Adam, & Andy being American, Beavis being Taiwanese). Never been there and I liked it. A nice chill place to have a few drinks. Only problem was it was rather smokey. I'm still getting used to this since Chicago's bars are smoke-free.

After a few drinks there, Alex, Adam, and I headed to 9%. This place is a club that has a set entry fee and all you can drink (about $20 US). I had never been and it was alright. I thought it was more of a foreigners bar but for a long time we were the only non locals in there. They also had the bartenders juggling flaming liquor bottles. The first 5 minutes was fun to watch, but after 20 minutes I just wanted them to get back to work so I could have another beer. And they had go-go dancers who were slightly attractive. Kudos to Alex for just going up to one out of nowhere. Too bad she didn't speak English.

Around 3, Alex's lady friend called and he bailed. I thought Adam was elsewhere in the club but I soon realized he bailed too. Now by myself, I was about to leave when I met 5 Canadian guys who teach English in Korea and were here on vacation. I hung out with them for a while until the club closed at 4. They still wanted to party so I decided to play host and show them a good time. Adam had mentioned a late night club called Vibe so we headed there. I probably should have just gone home...

Within 5 minutes of being at Vibe, some of the Canadians were about to get in a fight. And while the Canadians looked like hockey players, their adversaries had some big boys too (I think they were German). Yours truly acted as a peacekeeper and, along with a few others, was able to defuse the situation. I even had a beer and some fries with the German guys. Hao!

Then we went downstairs where its much more of a dance club. We were dancing and talking with anybody and everybody. It was a lot of fun. Then one of the Canadians and I were dancing with these two Taiwanese girls and a big African guy approached me. The conversation went something like this:

African Guy: "blah blah blah" (couldn't hear him cause the music was so loud)

Me: "Hey man I'm Jeff. Where you from?"

African Guy: "blah blah blah my girls blah blah blah"

Me: (starting to realize he's not happy) "My apologies. Let's grab a drink." (my peace offering)

African Guy: something about stabbing me (his not so peaceful offering)

Canadian Friend: pulls me away and says "Chicago (that's what they were calling me), he's not too happy man. Let's just move away."

Me: "I know! He said something about stabbing me!"

Yep, that was a first. After pondering what the hell just happened, we regroup with the other Canadians and decide to stick together (sure leaving was a much better idea at this point but at least we did something). They reassure me that if I get stabbed they have my back (I can't believe I'm having this conversation!!!) We keep to ourselves for a while before I have enough liquid courage/stupidity to forget what just happened and go back on the dance floor.

After a while, I very much accidentally find myself dancing with one of those two girls again. Between the club being dark and the booze, I didn't even recognize her until I saw the African guy in the distance with a "I told you I'm going to stab you" look on his face. Look lady, you're clearly into me and that's awesome. But you've got a huge African boyfriend/friend/bodyguard of some kind ready to stab me just for looking at you. I don't think this is what I signed up for. This time I not only get away from the girl but I finally realize its time to go.

And while I still I still don't fully realize what happened the other night, I do know that I'd rather not play knifey/spooney ever again.