July 28, 2008

You call that a knife? This is a knife.

Saturday night started out innocently enough. Too bad it didn't end that way.

The rain from the upcoming typhoon had begun and I was planning on staying in. Then the texts started coming in and I couldn't resist. From a combination of being tired from work, tired from the heat, and not having a lot of money, I haven't gone out too much. But this needed to change.

After meeting up with Alex, we headed to Underworld to meet up with Adam, Andy, & Beavis (Alex, Adam, & Andy being American, Beavis being Taiwanese). Never been there and I liked it. A nice chill place to have a few drinks. Only problem was it was rather smokey. I'm still getting used to this since Chicago's bars are smoke-free.

After a few drinks there, Alex, Adam, and I headed to 9%. This place is a club that has a set entry fee and all you can drink (about $20 US). I had never been and it was alright. I thought it was more of a foreigners bar but for a long time we were the only non locals in there. They also had the bartenders juggling flaming liquor bottles. The first 5 minutes was fun to watch, but after 20 minutes I just wanted them to get back to work so I could have another beer. And they had go-go dancers who were slightly attractive. Kudos to Alex for just going up to one out of nowhere. Too bad she didn't speak English.

Around 3, Alex's lady friend called and he bailed. I thought Adam was elsewhere in the club but I soon realized he bailed too. Now by myself, I was about to leave when I met 5 Canadian guys who teach English in Korea and were here on vacation. I hung out with them for a while until the club closed at 4. They still wanted to party so I decided to play host and show them a good time. Adam had mentioned a late night club called Vibe so we headed there. I probably should have just gone home...

Within 5 minutes of being at Vibe, some of the Canadians were about to get in a fight. And while the Canadians looked like hockey players, their adversaries had some big boys too (I think they were German). Yours truly acted as a peacekeeper and, along with a few others, was able to defuse the situation. I even had a beer and some fries with the German guys. Hao!

Then we went downstairs where its much more of a dance club. We were dancing and talking with anybody and everybody. It was a lot of fun. Then one of the Canadians and I were dancing with these two Taiwanese girls and a big African guy approached me. The conversation went something like this:

African Guy: "blah blah blah" (couldn't hear him cause the music was so loud)

Me: "Hey man I'm Jeff. Where you from?"

African Guy: "blah blah blah my girls blah blah blah"

Me: (starting to realize he's not happy) "My apologies. Let's grab a drink." (my peace offering)

African Guy: something about stabbing me (his not so peaceful offering)

Canadian Friend: pulls me away and says "Chicago (that's what they were calling me), he's not too happy man. Let's just move away."

Me: "I know! He said something about stabbing me!"

Yep, that was a first. After pondering what the hell just happened, we regroup with the other Canadians and decide to stick together (sure leaving was a much better idea at this point but at least we did something). They reassure me that if I get stabbed they have my back (I can't believe I'm having this conversation!!!) We keep to ourselves for a while before I have enough liquid courage/stupidity to forget what just happened and go back on the dance floor.

After a while, I very much accidentally find myself dancing with one of those two girls again. Between the club being dark and the booze, I didn't even recognize her until I saw the African guy in the distance with a "I told you I'm going to stab you" look on his face. Look lady, you're clearly into me and that's awesome. But you've got a huge African boyfriend/friend/bodyguard of some kind ready to stab me just for looking at you. I don't think this is what I signed up for. This time I not only get away from the girl but I finally realize its time to go.

And while I still I still don't fully realize what happened the other night, I do know that I'd rather not play knifey/spooney ever again.

July 24, 2008

3 Names, 1 Teacher

Everyone uses "Teacher First Name" at my school but I don't know why. Personally, Mr. Jelen seems too official and I don't view myself as an official teacher so maybe that's the reason. Plus, Mr. Jelen is my Dad, not me.

For all my classes, I have introduced myself as "Teacher Jeff" and that's what the students have been calling me. But lately, the students are starting to call me one of two other names. No, Teacher Stupid isn't one of them.

The first is "Teacher JJ." They get this because the kids write down their homework in a "Bye-Bye Book" and the teacher has to sign it to make sure its correct. I write my initials instead of my name. I guess I'm the only teacher that does that so the kids seem to enjoy it and the name is starting to stick in a couple classes. Fine by me.

The other name is "Teacher JeFu" pronounced "Jay-Fu." If you asked most of the students to say the letter "f" they'd say "f-ooo" instead of just saying "f" so that's where this comes from. I like this one cause its my Chinese name, for now. That is of course until I get a cooler name that means "brave dragon slayer of the west" or something like that.

July 23, 2008

Magic #142

The number of times I've been stared at for being white? Way too low. The number of Chinese words I know? Way too high. The number of hours it took me to write this entry? Close, but not quite.

That my friends is the number of students that the parents and school officials of Taiwan have entrusted me with. 142 students to help learn English good. 142 students to keep safe and out of trouble while under my supervision. 142 students to teach about the important things in life like Da Cubs, Da Bears, and Da Bulls.

And now that I've been teaching some of these kids for two months (I can't believe its been that long!), I feel I can give everyone some thoughts on my classes and classroom experiences thus far.

First of all, here's a basic rundown of how classes work at my school. The first level is M. This goes from M1-M6. These are the youngest and least experienced kids. They start off learning simple vocabulary and sentence patterns. The next level is K. This goes from K1-K12. Quite a range here so let's just say this is the intermediate level. And the highest level is NA (New Advanced, no idea what M & K stand for). This goes from NA1-NA7. These classes introduce the kids to writing stories rather than just sentences and reading books rather than one page stories.

M & K classes meet twice a week and are taught once by a CT (Chinese Teacher) and once by a FT (Foreign Teacher) each week. NA classes meet once a week and are only taught by a FT.

The classes go for 3-4 months. Because of this, and because the kids start learning at different ages, there is a lot of overlap in the age of students between levels.

I currently have 8 classes. Here are some thoughts on each:

K8 (23 students, 4th-5th graders): Most K classes have around 15 students so this one is quite large. But its also one of my favorite classes. The students are smart, eager to learn, and behave so we have fun. With that said, I could do without Alan. I love his enthusiasm when he volunteers for any question I ask but I hate that 90% of the time he's not just wrong, he's not even close. He might be staying at this level for another session. TBD.

K5 (8 students, 2nd graders): My newest class is also by far my smallest class. While I don't know the kids that well, so far they've been good. Even if they weren't, there's only eight of them so I could manage it. And not that she's an evil student, but Quby scares the crap out of me. She seems like a nice, cute little girl on the outside but she's got some ambition and hates to lose, both in games and on her homework. I gave her back a quiz that she didn't do well on and I got the evil eye from her. Yikes! There's a decent chance I'll be writing on the board one day and get stabbed with a pencil. She'll play all innocent, but I'll know it was her.

K7 (15 students, 3rd-5th graders): Not a bad class. They'd be better if they didn't tell on each other constantly about who's speaking Chinese or doing something else. Jeez. Snitching will only get you so far in life children and its not far. Only bad apple is Leo and I already found out he's not coming back for K8. Bueno!

M6 (15 students, kindergarten-1st graders): My youngest class is also my second favorite. This class is the closest thing I have to "babysitting" since they're so young and small. And its tough to keep their attention so someone is always standing up or has the wrong book open. But that's also why they're fun. When they're standing up when they're not supposed to, I simply pick them up and put them back. This works until they all start doing it so they can get picked up too.

And besides that, this class has the best English names of them all. I have a Jonathan, Frank, Mimi, Sunny, Yoyo, Connie (the kids always laugh because I say it with the Chicago "A"), Melissa (sorry MK, she spells it with two s's), my one and only Jeff, and my single favorite name in all of my classes, Otis. Not only is that a ridiculously awesome English name to have (how many Otis's do you know in the States?), but the kid doesn't have all his teeth, has glasses that appear to be too big for him, and he's the smallest kid in class yet he tries, and fails, to wrestle the girls during break time. Priceless.

K10 (23 students, 5th-6th graders): A solid class, but also my most boring class. Most students are fine but that's the problem. Not enough superstars or troublemakers to make them standout. And the material for this level doesn't help as its boring and tough to make exciting games or activities with. And not only are there a ton of students, but there are several duplicate names in the class (2 Andy's, 2 Ken's, 2 Sandy's) so I can never remember who is who.

NA3 (19 students, 7th-8th graders): After all those wonderful things, it seemed too good to be true right? Well, that's where this class comes in. They are by far my least favorite class. Not only is this huge for a NA class (most are around 12 students) but they don't do their homework, they don't pay attention in class, and they simply don't care. I've even kicked a few kids out of class for being a disruption. That's right, I can be a disciplinarian when I need to be. Now they've seen my tough love so things are getting better but I'm not completely optimistic.

NA1 (17 students, 3rd-6th graders): These students have cemented their place in history as the first class I ever taught. Not only that, but they're my favorite class and couldn't be more different than my other NA class. It doesn't seem like a big class, they do their homework, they pay attention, and we have fun in class. This is also the class that very willingly posed for a picture with my Cubs gear. Just this last week, I forgot to update them on the Cubs at the beginning of class (as I do every week) and not two minutes went by before I heard, "Teacher Jeff, what about the Cubs this week? Did they win?" That's when I had to explain the All-Star Game and its worthlessness.

OT2 (14 students, 2nd-3rd graders): This is my outing class that I have for the summer only. I wish it was longer because these kids are awesome. Basically, we play a lot of games and we go on field trips every other Friday. Two weeks ago, we went to the Taipei Zoo. Not only was it a really nice zoo, but the kids were so excited and we had a blast. I saw my first koala bears too. So small and they just sat there. I can now say with confidence that I could fight a bear and win.

What's also great about this class is there are 7 boys and 7 girls. So we always play boys against girls cause "we don't like the girls" according to the boys (that won't last forever my friends). As far as the battle of the sexes goes, all I can say is the boys need to practice their golf game. We play almost every class and the girls not only beat them, they destroy them. I'm thinking of taking them pro.

Alright, there you go. Sorry it took so long to share some thoughts on the main reason I'm out here but I hope this gives you a little insight into my new life adventure. Its still really strange in a lot of ways (I'm a teacher!?!? In Asia!?!?) and I miss you all back home, but thank you for your continued support while I'm in my new "home." It means a lot.

And I'll be sure to blog if I get another Otis.

July 22, 2008

A Lovely Sunday Evening

Sunday started out like so many days have been: hot. I was planning on going to a temple but it was too hot to stay outside for long. I was thinking of going to the beach but I slept too late to make the trip worth it.

Then my buddy Pat texts me with a wonderful idea: Batman. I sweeten the deal by proposing Chili's for dinner since they're in the same building. Now we're set for our man date. Uh...

After a delicious meal of fajitas, and by far my most expensive meal in Taipei, we check out The Dark Knight. It was spectacular. I think its even better than Batman Begins and that's no small feat.

It was also great to see the Chicago skyline and different parts of my hometown. I think Batman and I have the same bank.

And its too bad about Heath Ledger. I never really thought of him as a premiere actor (I think he won for Brokeback Mountain but I never saw it) but he won me over as The Joker. Creepy as hell. Has to be one of the best villains in recent memory.

And for those curious, they show the movies here in English and use subtitles. After a few minutes, I don't even notice them anymore, except for the occasional joke that has the Chinese audience laughing a second before the punch line is delivered.

All in all, a lovely Sunday evening. And after seeing that Indiana Jones 4 crap, my faith is restored that great movies can still be made.

July 20, 2008

Typhoon Kalmaegi

As much as I love it here, there are many things I'm not used to. One of those things are typhoons since we had nothing like them in Chicago.

First Typhoon Fengshen. Now Typhoon Kalmaegi. And unlike Fengshen, which missed Taiwan when it took a detour from The Philippines to Hong Kong, Kalmaegi hit Taiwan.

The good news is it didn't hit Taipei and the city is safe and sound. The bad news is this thing was considered a small typhoon and it still killed at least 20 people.

I find this difficult to grasp as most hurricanes that hit the States, as terrible as they are, usually just cause a lot of property damage (Katrina being an obvious exception). Here, even in a smaller one, its very likely that people will lose their lives as well.

I've always known this to be the case in many parts of the world. Its just an eye opener now that I call one of those parts of the world "home."

Home of the "Freedom Goddess"

To celebrate the 4th of July, I had one of my classes write a paper called "Traveling to America." They had to write about where they wanted to go and why. I graded the papers the other day and they started to make me homesick. They wrote about NYC, California, and Chicago (thanks to my influence) and it was really cool to read their stories.

First, a few of them called the Statue of Liberty the "Freedom Goddess." I think that's a much cooler name and propose changing the official name immediately. Second, as most of them have never been to the US, they wrote about these places as if they were magical places in a far off land. Everything was perfect in the places they visited: the cities, the beaches, the mountains. And they talked about saving all their money for the next year so that next summer they could visit the US.

Very interesting and touching to read about my wonderful home from their perspective. Poor one out for the Freedom Goddess tonight.

July 13, 2008

Good Eats - Subber

So a few weeks ago I started going into western food withdrawal. The noodles, rice, dumplings, and squid-on-a-stick have all been wonderful, but damn I wanted a sandwich.

That's when my roommate directed me to Subber. Subber is a couple blocks from my apartment and is basically a local version of Subway.

My first trip there was quite pleasant. Turkey. Onions. Mustard. Jackpot. It was so delicious. And I got the combo with a drink and brownie bites. These were the first brownies I've seen in Taiwan and they were quite delicious as well.

On top of all that, the music selection was quite amusing. The playlist went System Of A Down, Michelle Branch, Tool, and then some Michelle Branch type singer again. Great job on the transitions.

I've since frequented Subber about once a week. Yes, I addicted. But its better than getting my western food fix at McDonald's or KFC every week. In addition to the delightful turkey sandwich, they have a hot chicken caesar that's delicious and their meatball sub is much better than I expected.

I like it so much that I've added their website to my "Good Stuff" links on the right. Check it out.

Good Times - Jishan Beach

Back to Sunday, June 22...

For the second week in a row, I decided to head to a north coast beach. After experiencing the Taiwan Strait at Baishawan Beach, it was time to head northeast and test the waters of the East China Sea. So Ben, Andy, Adam, and I got a bus headed for Jishan Beach.

It took a bit longer to get there (about 2 hours) but that's mainly because we left from the middle of downtown and it took an hour to get outside of the city. We passed several beaches along the way that will have to be explored at a later point. Once we arrived, I immediately started comparing it to Baishawan. The bad? The beach was dirtier. The good? It didn't seem as crowded. And Mr. Hasselhoff was no where to be seen. Could this mean no designated swim area!?!? Yes! Finally, freedom to swim where I pleased.

After a failed attempt at swimming to Japan, I decided to just enjoy being in water that was deeper than my waist. It was so nice. That is until I got stung by something. I felt a prick on the inside of my elbow and it burned like hell for 5 minutes and then went away. Not cool I didn't think it was a jellyfish because I thought they brushed up against you and this felt like a needle in my arm. Later, I was told that the waters here have a lot of really small jellyfish and that's what it was. That's a first for me. And hopefully a last.

But in the end, the longer commute and presence of jellyfish didn't stop me from having a great time. And the fact that I can swim at this beach definitely is a bonus over Baishawan. Until next time...