July 29, 2005

Sweet Home Alabama

Hey folks. So week 3 of travel has led me to Alabama. I came here open minded but it was not so lovely. I would like to share my Sunday evening adventures with you, which in all seriousness, was one of the scariest nights of my life.

First of all, its an intern and myself making this journey. Our flight was delayed 2.5 hours and we didn't arrive in Birmingham until around 11 and we still have a 45 min drive ahead of us. We are not amused. On our way to our hotel, we merge onto a highway that immediately splits and we go the wrong way. So we take the first exit and decide to backtrack on the roads and get back on the right highway. The problem is we can't find a road that we're willing to turn on cause they all look shady. We go a few miles and decide to put our manly pride aside and ask directions. We pull into an Exxon gas station that looks ok. There's some people standing outside of it but we think nothing of it. I stop the car at a gas pump and the intern runs inside to ask directions. As soon as he reaches the door, a white guy and a black guy start yelling at each other. The intern notices the white guy is drunk and is holding a beer in one hand and a pistol in the other. I'm in the car and this is all happening behind me. I can't make out what is going on but I see the black guy pull something out of his trunk. It looks like a bat and I'm getting nervous. I was wrong, it was actually a rifle. The two men proceed to yell at each other and point their guns at each other. The intern is in the gas station with other customers and the employees ducking down on the floor. I still have the car in drive and contemplate driving off and leaving him there but, either courageously or out of sheer stupidity, I stay right where I am. The yelling and gun pointing continues for several minutes until a car of 4 black guys pulls up and they start yelling at the guy with the rifle. I am now right between their car and the rifle guy and think how I would rather not be in the crossfire. I remember them yelling "get down" and I take their advice and adjust the power seat settings on my Ford Taurus. Suddenly, the intern runs up and jumps in the car yelling "drive!" I floor it and expect some gun fire but thankfully there is none. We finally find the right highway and continue our journey.

If that wasn't enough excitement, we are now traveling on a pitch black road that has a dead animal at nearly every mile marker and was probably the inspiration for movies like Wrong Turn. We make it to our hotel around 1:30 and have a good nights sleep. The end.

The rest of the trip wasn't as bad but by no means good. The hotel was nice but that's it. It was hot as hell and our meals sucked.

Thank you Alabama for living up to my expectations and I hope to never return to this place. The lesson learned here is never stop for directions.

July 24, 2005

The Nooga

Second straight week of travel leads me to Chattanooga, TN. Unfortunately, I'm working this week so its not all fun and games. We did have some good times as The Nooga, as called by a radio station there, was better than expected. We had a nice hotel, had some solid meals including Memphis ribs, didn't work late, and the weather was hot but not as bad as Dallas.

The highlight of the trip came on our last dinner. We're at this steak place throwing down bottles of South African Shiraz and 20 oz. filets. Our manager had continually joked with us that day that Vanilla Ice was in town for a show and we needed to go. As we're wrapping up our dinner, the server comes up to us and says "I'm not supposed to do this when someone famous is here, but Vanilla Ice is eating right over there with his manager." I could not believe it. Mr. Ice Ice Baby himself having a steak before the big show. All I wanted to do was approach him and say "Hey man, pleasure to meet you. Good luck at the show tonight." I never got the chance as his two man entourage was leaving right after the server gave us the news.

So that's the fun that was had in The Nooga. Can't wait for what's in store in Alabama next week...

July 17, 2005

Don't Mess with Texas

So I have just returned from a week of training for work in Dallas. This also marks my return to the blogging world as I have left you all for some time. I apologize for the hiatus, I have no excuse nor do I need one cause its my blog.

Anyways, I arrive in Dallas around 9 at night. Somehow its still about 95 degrees outside. Already I can tell I'm gonna love this place. Due to our company having over 600 trainees in town, vans are set up for our shuttle. Apparently, 600 cab rides would cost too much. I quickly stop my complaining when my van picks up a lovely lady from the OC office (that's right, like the show) and we start chatting. We arrive at the hotel and she tells me I should meet her and her lovely OC friend for dinner. I'm really starting to like this training thing. I check into my room and get my friend, Gronberg, and we meet the ladies for a sub-par salad and sandwich that runs $20 a person. I'd be pissed if I was paying but I'll let it slide. Thank you PwC.

On Monday morning we head to the training course introduction. Its supposed to be about getting your room assignment, materials, etc. We use it to check out the talent. And talent there is. I swear, my company must have a hiring qualification based on looks. I love that the Chicago office is a great place to work and, as I've just discovered, our offices nationwide follow this same code. Again, thank you PwC.

I am happy to find out that the Chicago representation consists of Gronberg, Mowinski, Sutherland, Bartolucci, Nall, and myself. Quite a party group, this could get ugly.

Ugly? Maybe. Impressive? Yes. The whole week is a booze fest. The six of us go out every night parading around in limos everywhere we go. We recruit talent along the way and soon everyone is asking to hang out with the Chicago guys.

Monday and Tuesday night are solid, but nothing too note worthy (besides obvious drunkenness, being hung over during class and not paying attention, and all around having a good time). Wednesday is a solid day. First, Sutherland decides he doesn't like his class and leaves it for mine and Gronberg's. This didn't go over so well with HR but he's leaving the firm in a few weeks so he doesn't care. This also caused mayhem for our classroom. Gronberg and I never paid attention or participated but now with Sutherland we became disruptive in class. Luckily, everyone, including the hot ladies and our teachers, found our antics amusing and loved us.

That night, we find out from the valet guys that this bar is having a bikini contest and 50 cent well drinks. Obviously, we head to the bar that second and are there about 5 hours before the contest. Several hours later, I'm out $7. This is great. Now the contest starts and we're all skeptical as most of the clientele are coworkers of ours. Alas, out strut 10 of the hottest girls I've ever seen. At least 3 are introduced as Hooters girls and I swear I heard one was with our company. All the guys say I'm lying so I must have just imagined it. Regardless, these girls were pros and clearly just there for the contest. It was quite a good time. I believe #9 won. I was routing for #4. They're all winners in my book.

Thursday night trumped the bikini contest for sheer storytelling ability. Its our last night and our company is putting on this sports event in one of the ballrooms. Its cool cause its free booze and they've got pool tables, ping pong tables, stuff like that. About 12 of us are sitting around a few tables when we decide to bring our own sport into the mix - flip cup. That's right. How many people can say they were part of a flip cup game in the middle of 600 of their coworkers. Put your hand down, liar. And we were not quiet about it either. There was cheering and yelling and all the simple joys of people chugging beer and flipping their glass. We continued to play for an hour or so. During a flip cup game allowed bathroom break, I was walking through the ballroom and saw another flip cup game of about 20 people. I was so proud of what we started I almost had watery eyes. The night continued at the bars and concluded at a taco joint. Again, the limos picked us up on queue.

To top it all off, the Chicago guys decided to leave early for the airport and fly standby. We didn't want to deal with the airport at 5:00. Good thing we did. I got a call from a NY buddy later on saying that all the flights were being delayed several hours. My thoughts go out to them but you should have left training early. I mean, its only training for your career. How important could it be?

Week 2 of travel starts next week in Chattanooga.